Obituary writing guide
How to write an obituary, step by step
What to include in an obituary, an outline you can copy, five steps with filled-in examples, and how to submit it to a newspaper or share it online.
What to include in an obituary
Most obituaries cover these parts, in this order. Leave out any that don’t fit.
Full name, age, city and date of death
Add a nickname or maiden name if people knew them by it.
Birth and family background
Birth date and place, parents, and where they grew up.
Education, work and service
Schools, career and any military service.
Marriage and family
A spouse or partner, when they married, and the family they raised.
Passions and character
Faith, hobbies, community groups and what people loved about them.
Survivors and those who died before
Close family by name, with counts for large groups like grandchildren.
Service details
Visitation, funeral, memorial or celebration of life: date, time, place and any livestream.
Memorial donations
Where to give in lieu of flowers, if the family wishes.
A closing line
A thank-you, a favorite saying or a last word of love.
Obituary format and outline
Use it as a form: copy the outline, fill in the blanks, and delete any line that doesn’t fit.
1. Announcement
Full name, age, of city, state, passed away peacefully / unexpectedly on date of death at home / surrounded by family.
2. Birth and family background
First name was born on birth date in birthplace to parents’ names and grew up a detail about childhood or hometown.
3. Education, work and service
After graduating from school, First name worked as job or trade at employer for number years. Military branch and years served, if any.
4. Marriage and family
In year, First name married spouse’s name, and together they raised (number) children / made a home in (town).
5. Passions and character
First name loved hobbies, faith, places or people and will be remembered for a quality, with one small example.
6. Survivors and those who died before
Survivors include spouse, children and their partners, number grandchildren and siblings. First name was preceded in death by names and relationships.
7. Service details
A funeral / A memorial service / A celebration of life will be held at time on day and date at place and address. Visitation, burial or livestream details.
8. Memorial donations
In lieu of flowers, donations may be made to charity or fund, with its website.
9. Closing line
The family thanks caregivers, nurses or friends for their care. A favorite saying, or one last line about the love they leave behind.
For longer versions with finished examples, use the fill-in-the-blank obituary template or our obituary templates for a mother, father, veteran and more.
Need help writing an obituary?
Answer a few guided questions and the free obituary writer drafts it for you to edit, copy or publish. No account or credit card needed.
Help me write the obituaryBefore you start
A good obituary does three jobs: it announces the death, honors the life, and tells people how to gather or show support. It does not need to be perfect on the first draft. Collect the facts, write in a warm third-person voice, then revise for accuracy.
If you want to see complete samples before writing, browse our obituary examples. If you prefer blanks to fill in, start with our obituary templates.
Each step below ends with a short example, filled in for one fictional woman, Nora Lindquist.
1. Start with the basic information
Begin with the facts people need first. This part should be clear, calm, and easy to verify before you add more personal details.
What was their full name?
Use the full legal or preferred name. You can include a maiden name, nickname, or commonly used name if it helps readers recognize them.
Example: Margaret Elaine Porter, Patricia Ann Coleman Smith, or Robert Allen "Bob" Hayes.
When were they born and when did they pass away?
Include birth and death dates when available. If you do not know every detail, use only what is accurate rather than guessing.
Example: She was born on June 2, 1943, and passed away peacefully on March 14, 2026.
Where were they born or where did they live?
Birthplace and residence help anchor the obituary. You can mention a hometown, longtime community, or the city where they passed away.
Example: Born in Dayton, Ohio, Margaret made Columbus her home for more than 50 years.
Do you want to mention the cause of death?
This is optional. Many families leave it out, use gentle wording, or mention it only if it feels meaningful or helpful.
Example: passed away peacefully, passed away unexpectedly, or after a courageous illness.
Filled-in example
Nora Jean (Berg) Lindquist, 84, of Duluth, Minnesota, passed away peacefully at home on October 20, 2026. She was born on March 3, 1942, in Two Harbors, Minnesota, and made Duluth her home for more than 60 years.
2. Add family relationships
Family details help readers understand the relationships that shaped the person's life. Keep the list accurate and discuss sensitive omissions with close family when possible.
Who were their parents?
Parents are often included near the beginning, especially in traditional obituaries. You can include full names or keep this brief.
Example: She was born to Henry and Louise Miller in Dayton, Ohio.
Who preceded them in death?
Mention close family members who died before them, such as a spouse, parents, siblings, children, or other central loved ones.
Example: She was preceded in death by her husband, Robert, and her brother, James.
Who survives them?
List surviving immediate family first. For large families, it is fine to use counts for grandchildren or great-grandchildren.
Example: She is survived by her children, Anna Porter and Michael Porter; five grandchildren; and two great-grandchildren.
Should grandchildren and great-grandchildren be named?
Naming everyone can be meaningful, but it can also make the obituary long. Use names when important and counts when the list is large.
Example: She was a proud grandmother of nine and great-grandmother of four.
Filled-in example
Nora was the daughter of Arne and Ingrid Berg. She was preceded in death by her husband of 52 years, Carl, and her brother, Leif. She is survived by her children, Karen (Paul) Engstrom and Erik Lindquist; seven grandchildren; and three great-grandchildren.
After the obituary
Create a funeral program from the obituary
Choose from 100s of funeral program themes, then reuse the obituary details you already wrote. The free obituary writer is included, so families can move from words to a finished program without starting over.
Create a funeral program
3. Tell the life story
This is where an obituary becomes more than a notice. Choose a few details that show what mattered in their life rather than trying to include everything.
What should you say about marriage or partnerships?
Include a spouse, partner, or significant relationship if it was central to their life. You can mention years together, where they met, or what they built together.
Example: She married Robert in 1964, and together they built a home known for open doors and Sunday dinners.
Should education be included?
Education is helpful when it shaped their path, career, community, or sense of identity. Keep it concise unless it was a major part of their story.
Example: Helen graduated from Roosevelt High School and remained close with many classmates throughout her life.
How do you write about military service?
Mention the branch, years served, rank, deployment, awards, or what their service meant to them. Keep the tone respectful and factual.
Example: Robert served in the U.S. Navy from 1962 to 1968 and was proud of the discipline and friendships he found there.
How much career history should you include?
Focus on work that was meaningful, long-lasting, or part of how people knew them. You do not need to list every job.
Example: She worked for many years as a school secretary, where she was known for remembering every child by name.
What organizations or community roles should be mentioned?
Include churches, clubs, volunteer work, professional groups, or community service if they were important to the person.
Example: She was active in her church community and volunteered weekly at the local food pantry.
How do hobbies and interests make an obituary better?
Specific hobbies make the obituary feel personal. Choose details that help readers picture the person clearly.
Example: He loved early morning fishing, old records, and long drives with no destination in mind.
How do you describe personality and legacy?
Use concrete traits and small examples. Instead of only saying kind, show how kindness appeared in everyday life.
Example: She gave generously through meals left on porches, handwritten cards, and the kind of listening that made people feel understood.
Filled-in example
Nora graduated from high school in Two Harbors, married Carl Lindquist in 1963, and worked for 31 years as a nurse. She sang in her church choir, knit a blanket for every new baby in the family, and never let anyone leave her kitchen hungry.
4. Include funeral, memorial, or celebration details
Service information helps people know how to gather, send support, or respect the family's wishes. If plans are not final, it is okay to say that details will be shared later.
What service details should an obituary include?
Include the type of gathering, date, time, location, and address. If there is a visitation, burial, reception, or livestream, mention those too.
Example: Visitation will be held Friday from 5 to 7 p.m. at Oak Hill Chapel. A funeral service will follow Saturday at 10 a.m.
What if the funeral or memorial is private?
State it simply and kindly. You do not need to explain the reason.
Example: A private family service will be held at a later date.
Should you include a livestream link?
If the service will be streamed, include a clear link or note that virtual attendance details will be shared by the funeral home or family.
Example: A livestream link will be available through the funeral home website before the service.
How do you mention flowers or memorial donations?
Families often include in lieu of flowers language, a charity, or a memorial fund. Be specific enough that people know what to do.
Example: In lieu of flowers, memorial donations may be made to the Alzheimer's Association.
Filled-in example
Visitation will be held from 4 to 7 p.m. Friday, November 6, at Pine Ridge Chapel in Duluth. The funeral will begin there at 11 a.m. Saturday, with burial to follow, and will be livestreamed on the chapel’s website. In lieu of flowers, donations may be made to her church’s food pantry.
5. Close with a meaningful final note
A closing sentence can make the obituary feel complete. It may express gratitude, name a legacy, share a short quote, or invite people to remember the person in a specific way.
Should you thank caregivers, friends, or institutions?
If someone provided meaningful care or support, a short thank-you can be appropriate. Keep it warm and concise.
Example: The family is grateful to the nurses and caregivers who treated Helen with dignity and tenderness.
Can you include a quote, prayer, or phrase?
A short quote can work well if it reflects the person's faith, humor, values, or favorite saying. Avoid making the ending too long.
Example: Her family will remember her favorite reminder: Leave people better than you found them.
What is a good final sentence for an obituary?
End with the legacy you want people to remember: love, service, faith, laughter, creativity, courage, or devotion.
Example: Her love remains a guiding presence for all who knew her.
Filled-in example
The family thanks the hospice nurses who cared for Nora so gently in her final weeks. She liked to say there was always room for one more at the table, and at her table, there always was.
How to submit an obituary
Through the funeral home
The funeral home usually sends the obituary to the newspapers you choose, and many post it on their own website too. Give them the final text and a photo, and ask what each paper charges.
Directly to a newspaper
Most papers take paid obituaries through an online form on their website, or by email or phone through their obituary desk. Each paper sets its own deadline and price, usually based on length and photos. Many confirm the death with the funeral home before printing, so have its name ready.
Online, for free
Publish the obituary on a free online memorial page with photos and service details, then share the link by text, email or social media. Readers can leave a message in the guestbook. To keep a paid newspaper notice short, many families print a brief death notice that ends with the link.
Related resources
Use these if you want a faster starting point or a finished sample to follow.
Obituary templates
Fill-in-the-blank formats for short, traditional, memorial, mother, father, veteran, and sudden death obituaries.
Obituary examples
Read complete sample obituaries by style and situation before writing your own.
Questions families ask
How long should an obituary be?
A short obituary is often 100 to 200 words, and a fuller life story 300 to 700 words. Most newspapers charge by length, so many families print a short version and post the full obituary online for free.
What should not be included in an obituary?
Leave out home addresses, since the service times tell strangers when a house will be empty. For privacy, some families give only the birth year. Skip anything close family hasn’t agreed to share, such as health details or family disagreements. The cause of death is always optional.
Who writes the obituary?
Usually a close family member, such as a spouse or an adult child, writes it. Many funeral homes will help write or edit it from the details you give them, and they usually send it to the newspaper. Whoever writes it, ask a close relative to check every name, date and spelling before it’s published.
Do I need to include every family member?
No. Most obituaries name the spouse, children, parents and siblings, then use counts for larger groups, such as “12 grandchildren and 4 great-grandchildren.” If leaving someone out could hurt, talk it over with close family first.
Can I write an obituary before service details are final?
Yes. Write the life story first and use a line like “Service details will be announced later” until the date, time and place are confirmed. If the obituary is on a memorial page, you can add the details once they’re set and share the link again.